Do I Love?

What can my family do for me? What can my friends do for me? What else can I do for me? These are questions that are running through most of our minds many times a day, whether we realize it or not. And many believers, to top the big questions all off, are constantly thinking: what else can God do for me? What else can God give me?
Many believers spend a lot of their prayer time asking for things for themselves, sure not everyone, but I would say a lot of people do. In theory, that’s not so bad, because the Bible does tell us to pray and ask God boldly and confidently for our needs and the desires of our hearts. But what do you see in this picture?
It’s all about me! That’s what I’ve been thinking about lately. Maybe I speak for myself, but I think a lot of people spend a lot of time wondering and worrying about what else can be done for them or given to them in their lives.

If you don’t think so, look at our culture. We live in a society full of the expression and fixation on self-love, self-care, love yourself mantras, and put yourself first proclamations. We are seeing more and more notes, memes, and posts about how we are the most important person in our world, and all of our wants, needs, and dreams should come indisputably first. I’ve even seen a lot of content alluding to cutting people out who get in the way of those pursuits. What do you think of that?
At first glance, of course we should love ourselves and take care of our wants and needs. But I’ve been staring at this picture with questions in my heart. And then I thought back to the beginning of the first church, the emergence of families of believers into one body around the time of Jesus’ departure from this world.
These people would share all of their possessions, pray for each other, eat together, and spend many hours of the days fellowshipping and ministering to one another. The nonbelievers of the day, Romans and outer Jews, thought they were like a cult. They were baffled at this behavior and many people believed their radical lifestyle was extreme. What do you think of that? (Acts 4:32: All the believers were one in heart and mind. No one claimed that any of their possessions was their own, but they shared everything they had.)

Pondering these questions, I thought back to the things Jesus said during his time ministering on this earth. I thought about the reputation of the gospels as the books establishing a religion centered on love, sacrifice, and servanthood. Jesus came preaching love. Jesus came preaching servanthood. Jesus came preaching sacrifice. And Jesus did in fact lay down his life for us.
But what did Jesus and his apostles say about love?

In John 13:34-35, Jesus says “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.”

In Matthew 22:37-40, Jesus said “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: Love your neighbor as yourself. All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.”

In Matthew 7:12, Jesus says “So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets.”

In Matthew 20:26-28, Jesus said “… whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first must be your slave— just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.”

In Luke 6:38, Jesus says “Give, and it will be given to you. Good measure, pressed down, shaken together, running over, will be put into your lap. For with the measure you use it will be measured back to you.”

In Romans 12:10, the apostle Paul says “Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves.”

In Philippians 2:3-4, Paul says “Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.”

So then, we are to put others at the top of our lists, because that is out of love. We are to serve and take care of them with a genuine heart. We are to do good things for them out of kindness and interest. We are to care about the needs, wants, and interests of others, and not just our own. We are to pray for them too, and not just ourselves.
Jesus then, did not come preaching self-love, self-service, and self-care come first. Of course we learn how to love and care for ourselves authentically through a relationship with God, but that is not our primary focus when we are loving like He did. Jesus was moving us to love and serve others first. The Bible is a blueprint on honoring and loving God, others, and even our enemies!

So how do you show your love to God? How do you show love with all of your heart, soul, and mind to the One who gave you life? How do you love your neighbors like yourself? What does that look like in your life?

Lazy, half breathed prayers for the ones we know and love are not hitting the mark. Sighs and complaints as we do for our children, spouses, and coworkers is not the ticket. And the pursuit and fulfillment of our every want and desire first as a full-time job, half-glancing at others as we pass them by, is not quite capturing the essence of godly love either.

I’m praying God shifts and fills our hearts, moving us to love like he does with full joy and deep affection. Love is the encapsulating truth Jesus came to teach us about. Love and sacrifice is what Jesus demonstrated on the cross.

We can do more for others. We can care about the things they care about. We can do kind things for them. We can meet their needs. We can be their loving ear and support. We can be encouragers and listeners, not just consumed by our own worries and interests. We can pray for them.
If it’s hard for you, just start trying to do a little bit more at a time, and pray God helps you live and act out of love. Slow down when you do things that you usually do, and think about how God’s love can take over your most basic acts and tasks – turning them into not just chores, but loving acts of service for the ones you care about. Slow down when you pray, and really think about what the people in your life need, wants, and care about, praying on each of those subjects thoughtfully and carefully to God.

Maybe go out of your way to do one nice thing for someone else this week. Start there! Do something different and special for someone close to you – something you’ve never done before. They’ll never see it coming, and it will touch their heart!
Maybe take one person at a time. Spend one day at a time thinking of specific people, and brainstorm how you can be loving and be a servant for them. Pray God opens your eyes to what would bless their heart.

Love yourself, but don’t forget to love others too. One day we are going to die. It will no longer matter how beautifully decorated our houses were, how nice our cars and clothes were, how much money was in our bank account, and how amazing and celebrated we were at work… it will matter how much love we shared & spread. It will matter how much we kissed our babies. It will matter how much we spilled our hearts to our spouses. It will matter how many heartwarming, giggly conversations we shared with our friends. THESE are the things they will reflect on… how you treated them. How you loved them. How they loved you.

Living, creating, working, and providing is so important, yes, but don’t forget to leave behind a legacy of love. People will stay up late remembering these things from your heart for years to come when you pass, and one day they’ll completely forget how nice or even what your car was in 2022.

Go the extra mile for people. Show the affection. Make them laugh. Do more than they are expecting. Surprise them. Go out of your way, even when you don’t feel like it. Pray for them. Just do it. That’s a good summary of what I’m saying here. That’s what love does!
Let God and a heart full of love lead you!

Take care!