Mystery Post: What do you think I did when things went horribly wrong this weekend?

This last Saturday I woke up with all sorts of exciting images and ideas in my head. I thought my husband and I would head two to three hours east to the Bavarian village here in Washington. I thought we would then go on to swim in a mountain enclosed lake in the area. In the end, I imagined we would have slipped into an affordable hotel in the area for the evening… resuming our adventures on Sunday. I was hoping to capture photographs of the beautiful scenery there. I was hoping to explore an overwhelmingly gorgeous countryside with a grand smile on my face for two days.

Reality bit me! You heard it here first: Things don’t always go your way.

As it turns out, my husband and I had a grand miscommunication the night before. He seemingly did not understand what we were going to do. I was making out of this world plans. Meanwhile, he was very unaware of the grand picture I was painting. Very honestly friends, this last Saturday held a great deal of disappointment. I knew I wanted a wonderful and magnificent weekend escape. He realized less. Discussion revealed that this trip would have been too much for him this weekend. We do indeed have some stressful situations on our hands lately. Yet as it turns out, it would have been too much for me too. My pregnancy suddenly had me feeling wiped out by the later hours of that day. I did not even feel comfortable walking in the end. I simply felt faint.

So what did I do? Well honestly, I may or may not have pouted at least for a little bit. I felt a bit emotional because I truly wanted a getaway. I have felt swamped lately and thought it would help. I also temporarily felt angry that my husband was not compliant and willing to do what would make me happy. That is the simplest way to truthfully relay the situation. I wanted what I wanted. He was in my way! Why wasn’t he being compliant and wanting exactly what I wanted? Yet I killed that negative attitude. I tried to keep my mind on Jesus through my troublesome thoughts and feelings.

I figured some things out that day. My mindset and mentality on that day was toxic in the beginning. It was all about me. I needed to go. I needed gratification. I needed complete compliance from my spouse. It had to be one hundred miles away. There was an issue there. Furthermore, an escape doesn’t actually set you free from anything. An escape is not the source of peace. That’s God’s territory. I think maybe this is why I did not need to go out of town this weekend. I needed a fresh reminder as to who is the boss of peace. I was letting desire get to my head.

As it turns out, we spent half of our day working out our thoughts and feelings on various issues and topics. I feel confident that we understand each other’s most recent needs and concerns better now. After our talk was concluded, it was time to eat before the child inside of me decided to start digging his or her way out. We decided to run through Popeyes.

Next, I let Angel take us to the place he wanted to go. I told him that I did not want to be the boss anymore for the day. Well, he took us to the one of the lovely beaches a few miles from where we live. I assure you that the weather was fantastic. The temperature was phenomenal and the sky was clear. Aurora ran barefoot along the shore giggling and shrieking for an hour. We held little crabs. We collected neat rocks and shells. We took gorgeous photos together. We had such an incredible day together. I truly do not think there was any better way to spend today.

We drove around for a while after that. Next, we grabbed a coffee from our favorite place. Then we headed home. Angel finished the day tinkering on the car. I finished the day resting, because it turned out that I desperately needed it.

In conclusion, I am glad that we did not go out of town. Saturday was not the best time for us to go. I think God knew what was best for us. I am thankful for the time we enjoyed this weekend. The memory of that day will forever remain special to me. I continue to look at our precious photos even today. Additionally, if we had went out of town we would have missed church on Sunday. This past service was such beautiful teaching. It was all about the Father for Father’s Day, of course. It was a special day. My heart and mind was blessed throughout the entire weekend. Things will not always go my way, and sometimes that is because something better will take place. God is good.

Happy Father’s Day to our great Father!

A picture from a book of one hundred illustrated Bible verses that I discovered:

Take care,

Eva

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Why I Have Reasons to be Happy in my Day to Day Life

Blessings are fully bloomed in my life, so how do I keep missing that?

Today I have been thinking about what is good in my life. I spent the last few weeks harboring a rather sadistic and pessimistic attitude. That was really making things gloomy around my house. Everything has been a nuisance lately as a result of my attitude.

I feel like God is helping me wake up from this silliness. I do not even quite know what I have been thinking. Yet suddenly, I realize how many wonderfully exciting and beautiful people and things I am engulfed by in my life! And all of the reasons and sources are found in none other than God.

The first wonderful thing on my mind lately is that I celebrated my birthday yesterday. I have been able to live long enough to stuff another year under my belt. I am thankful that my life has been as long as it is thus far. I am thankful for all of the wacky, exciting, and even painful twists and turns that have led me to where I am today. Although I get discouraged or blinded by minor frustrations and difficulties sometimes, much of what I have right now is what I used to plead and yearn for in years past. I wanted someone to love me. I wanted something to believe in or to find God. I wanted to escape the feelings of oppression and entrapment. I wanted to belong somewhere. I wanted to feel at home. I feel so much better now. I feel that God did hear my prayers and cries. I feel free from much of what troubled me before.

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I am loved. My sweet husband, Angel, is appropriately named. As cheesy as this may sound, I feel like he is an angel to me. He is always taking care of me. He tells me he loves me every single day, and I know that he genuinely means it. We have not worn out our lovingkindness. I know that he would do anything for me. I know that I would do anything for him.

Being with him makes me more happy than almost anything else. I always enjoy talking to him. We are always laughing together. He makes my heart happy.

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I am also loved by my tiny daughter. She does not know many words, but she still manages to express how much she loves us without all of the grandiloquence. Whether it is kisses, hugs, laughter, or resting her head on you, she makes you feel very special. We are lucky to have her. We are blessed that she made it through the traumatic first few days or her life. She is so healthy, bubbly, and happy now, and this is beautiful. As I care for her day to day, she drains and uplifts me all at once. I cannot describe how exhausting chasing her can be. Yet I also cannot describe how much light, learning, and love she pours into my day. I do not even deserve this little wonder.

The greatest days of my life are certainly right before me. I am always downscaling and downplaying the significance and excitement of right now. I often act as if a day is simple, boring, mundane, or even mediocre. I am often extracting gratitude. I instantaneously strip days of potential and rejoicing. I have the people I love the most in my life. I am constantly under the eyes and ears of God, who I trust loves me very much. I have nothing to fear. The days are here for the taking! I can spread good things. I can give love. I can shed light. I have opportunities to do good, and this is what I am certain I long for. I long to serve, help, mend, and bless. I feel that God intended for me to do this. I want to do that. I want to bless others. I wish I did not sometimes forget this. Sometimes I become selfish and self-centered, and I do not want anything to do with anyone. I am certain this causes a fit of discontentment and depression. Yet I live for these moments when I wake up!!! Forget the lies and excuses, now is the time to love others and embrace the good in life! Now is the time to express gratitude to God by letting my daily life be an expression of what he has taught me.. and what his grace stirs up in my heart.

Oh my,

The little of activities of the day are special even when I forget that they are. Washing dishes is a reminder that I have food to eat and plates to eat them on. Changing a dirty diaper is a reminder that I have a healthy, growing little girl in my arms. Cleaning the toilet is a reminder that I have running water and sanitary living conditions. Aching all over and yawning more than I thought a person could is a reminder that God is growing a beautiful little life within me, a person that we both love so much already. Picking up long forgotten dishes and littered work socks is a reminder that I have a husband that I love more than anything right before me. Washing clothes is a reminder that we have clothes on our back, and the means to keep ourselves warm and clean. Diffusing a mortifying toddler tantrum is a reminder that I have a beautiful, learning, growing, and all the while, vulnerable little girl that I am here to teach, discipline, and nourish into a healthy, positive woman. Taking little Bam Bam out to fertilize the earth is a reminder that I have a furry friend who loves me very much constantly at my side. He is newly discovered source of joy and companionship to little one.

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Whether I go to the grocery store or the mountains, I want to enjoy all of the beauty around me. I live in the Pacific Northwest, and it is drop dead gorgeous here. I want to make the most of the time that I have here by exploring and enjoying the beautiful scenes only minutes, miles, and hours away. I have never seen sights like those that I see here before. I am so lucky to see all of this, and especially to share it with my love. The excursions I have went on recently have been very special. We visited Mount Rainier National Park again. We made another fun stop in Seattle. We visited the bridge of glass. Our most recent boat ride was on a perfectly cloudless day. We have seen more waterfalls and rivers. We may even explore Oregon coast again soon. I have made lasting memories. I have taken photos that will never be forgotten. I will have stories to tell my children and grandchildren one day.

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There is a lot of unknown in my life right now, and this feels a bit overwhelming at times. We are supposed to move to Germany. We have a little one on the way. We do not know if we will move in less than three months or if it will be later. We do not know if our plan may be recreated altogether. We do not know if our destination may change. We do not know what the next steps are in our life quite yet. We have to wait and continue to follow a snail process that is far overdue to get more information. Yet I will stay confident that God loves me, and that God will guide us through this as we seek Him through prayer. God knows right where I am. God knows just how I feel. God knows exactly where I am going. I can be thankful for the blessings God has saturated my life with.. right now. Today. Right here. I have more than I need, because I even have things that I want.

I hope this post finds you all well. I hope you can count your own blessings today. Even the frustrating or hard things might simultaneously be a reason to be happy. Keep smiling friends. You are loved, special, capable, and valuable.

I guess you just can’t express gratitude when you’re entirely bitter inside and out. I’m doing more than one thing wrong lately!

If I Die Tonight, Rest Assured I Loved Him

My simple reflection is that if I were to die tonight, I ponder what my last words would be. I ponder what my lasting trace would be on the people I knew. If anyone was to take any sort of knowledge from my life, I would hope that it is that I found my true life, purpose, and hope in God. God created everything in splendorous, artistic, creative, balanced, and beautiful fullness. God is full of all existence. He billows with power and glory. I am thankful for the meaning and light he instilled in my once empty, void, confused, and suicidal being. I remain nothing, but I now remain with my small soul and laughable inadequacy in the supernatural master of all. He is great. I am meek. He does extraordinary things, he manifests miracles before me, and this is something that I fear… because the most sacred, divine being in all of existence… loves me. He wears scars to prove his love. For this, I work out my salvation with fear and trembling. His love, how good He is, baffles me. He is the nourisher of my soul.

Though this is simple thought, this is essential thought. Our existence is impossibly possible through the existence of God. We are blessed by the breath of life. We are blessed by the knowledge of the hand that formed us. We are blessed by the ability to turn our heart to our Home. The greatest blessing of all time is God Himself, and we must ceaselessly thank Him that He allows us to be interwoven into his great fabric of life.

Let Him not be forgotten.

I supplicate in prayer that anyone who reads this is empowered by perceiving just how deep the love of Christ is that surpasses all knowledge… and I pray that you be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. (Ephesians 3).

 

Painting:

The Glory of Christ- Easter Day 2008.

Oil on canvas

30 x 24in/76 x 61cm

To Worship Greater than Our Ancestors of Old

How much more should we praise God than our ancestors! How much MORE!

We know so much more of his power, beauty, talent, skill, creativity, and splendorous design!

We have traveled and connected with so many parts of the world. We have photographed them. We have explored them. We have climbed the highest mountains. We have dove to deepest parts of the sea. We have swept through jungles. We have slid on icy expanses.

We have walked on the moon. We investigate the depths of the celestial bodies with precise telescopes and cameras. We exchange beauty of his creations and wonders of all of our planet with hasty ease. We reach these nooks and crannies without much difficulty.

We marvel in the greatness of God’s hands! We explore his great work! We share freely photos, descriptions, stories, and maps with the move of our fingers!

How much more should we bow to praise God.

God has revealed his mysteries to us. He has revealed his plan. He has done a new thing. He has sent his son Jesus Christ to save the world. It has been done! We experience his Holy Spirit, who reaches in us to teach us, freely in this life.

We know the story of the Lord’s movement and plan for humans from the beginning to the end, because we are lucky enough to read the sacred text from the beginning to the end. The only thing we wait for now is for the Lord to return and finish all of this.

We have answers. We have the Truth. We have hope. We have Life. We have a path. We have the Way.

How much more blessed are we than any ever before! How much do the Lord’s undeserved blessings rain down on us! We are blessed! We have so much to celebrate! We have so much to rejoice about! We have the entire world, peoples, and nearby celestial bodies to witness freely with new technology and communications! We have the transportation technology to get us everywhere we could hope to explore! We have the complete living Word of the Lord to renew our mind in every single moment that we would like! We have the Spirit to teach us within!

We have the ability to share the Lords greatness in too many ways to name.

The greatest crime is that the devil makes people feel depressed or lost in things that do not matter, and they do not see the Lord, the Way, and the consequences.

 

Painting – Alone With God Together. I do not own.